Well... Its official...

As of 7am this morning we don't have a vehicle.  My husband was driving to work when the camaro broke down on 12 mile road. A very busy road near his job, He got it to start and drove it into the parking lot when it broke down again. One of the security guards gave him a ride to his office building. I called him to find out if he made it to work okay and that was when he told me. So we're now officially screwed. No car for my husband to drive and I hope our kids don't get hurt or sick because we have no way of getting them to the hospital in time. The camaro was having problems overheating. My husband, dad and brother fixed the thermostat yesterday and then Landon took it in to get the radiator flushed. Money that we didn't actually have was spent yesterday on that and what a waste.

I know this is a part of life and a part of life I wouldn't want wished on anyone. I feel as though no matter how hard I have worked or my husband has worked we cannot catch a break. Just when we think we are finally caught up something else happens. First it was our washer, then the dryer, then the van and now the camaro. We're in a bind. We can't pay our rent until the 10th because we had to pay our $600 gas bill. Why is it that high? We live in a 2 story drafty house that is 119 years old and this month with the temperatures in the negatives it has really caught up.

I always try to stay positive. Even with all the bumpy roads of being a special needs parent. I have always looked at my sons special needs in a positive outlook. Maybe that's my downfall. Maybe being positive is the reason nothing goes right in my family. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and say forget it. Someday's I wish I could. But my kids are far too important and thankfully our problems don't effect them. I want them to be kids. Not worry about mom and dad. I grew up in poverty and I always told myself that my kids never would know what its like to worry about no water in the house for months at a time or other problems that my parents worked hard at trying to fix. Raising 6 kids was hard and my mom and dad both worked. When my siblings were old enough they worked too. The only difference is back in the day was so much cheaper to live compared to now. Now everything is going up and with a family of six its hard to keep up. I wish the van didn't break down. I wish the camaro didn't break down. I hope to God that our landlord will be understanding when we tell him we can't pay him until the 10th. If not well.. I guess we will be looking for a house too. Like we can afford to do that. We can't afford to do anything. We're sitting ducks in a tiny pond and I don't know how we're going to get out of it.

Thank you to everyone who has donated to our gofundme page. We're truly thankful for your kindness.

Life and its hard times..

Just recently my husband and I have hit a rut. Before the New Year he ended up in the hospital with blood pressure 200/125 and pressure in the chest. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong because his cholesterol was fine and the tests showed nothing wrong. Our special needs son Landon was stressed out and not acting like himself while daddy was in the hospital. He didn't understand what was going on. Finally when Landon came home he was told to take it easy and he took his vacation time from work. My husband works for a contract company for GM. Not a Union job. Thankfully he was due vacation time and spent it resting and healing. In January I was laid off from my job at the marina I am a housekeeper at. There wasn't much work for me to do and $8 an hour working 2 days a week in 3 hour shifts wouldn't even pay for gas. My busiest time at work is the summer time cleaning up after members who take advantage of your kindness everyday and treat you as though you're the dirt on their shoe. Its not an easy job and putting up with people who think they're above you because you're a housekeeper and your not rich is not a job everyone can do. I gotta say working there has made me seen the side of people I never thought I would see. Its pretty sad when you think about it.

Unfortunately life has handed us another challenge. One we cannot fix unless a miracle happens. The day after Christmas our family vehicle died. It went kaput and when my brother tried to start it air was coming out of the engine. But before that we were having problems with it. It would shake violently when we would stop at a red light. The van was our only transportation for doctors appointments for the kids. Family drives in the country was our favorite thing to do. But after Dec 26 2013 that all ended. Our special needs son requires MRI's, EEG's and other tests that we had to put on hold because of the blasted van. Here is a photo of it and you can tell in this photo of my daughter Cheyenne  it hasn't moved with the mound of snow in front of it.

We don't even have the money for our rent and had to pay to keep our electricity and our gas bill because of the negative temperatures here in Michigan is $600. So we're scrapping at the moment with a "95" Camaro that over heated on us last night. So needless to say 2014 has started off for us in a hard time. Usually my husband and I try to stay positive and keep on trucking as my mom would say. We just live as best as we can and try to find good in all of it especially for our kids. Our twin boys gave us a dollar they earned to put towards fixing the camaro. My cousin Leanne said Your Facebook post about your kids wanting to contribute was so sweet! You’re obviously a good parent to instill this caring and generosity in your children.

We try to teach them everyday that helping others is a good thing. It shows people that you care and shows that there is hope in this world when people are shown kindness. They put together a box of toys they didn't play with and sent them to goodwill last year and this year they're sending a box of toys to a shelter not to far from our house for kids to enjoy. My little ones love giving back to the community. We're raising them to be there for others when they need help. Its how I was raised. My parents instilled it in me and I am instilling it in my children. We try to be humble and don't like to ask for help. But my friend Megan insisted we make an account on gofundme.com to help us raise money for a van. Nothing fancy or expensive just something to get our family back into routine and back to all the appointments we have missed. It was her idea that I post the link to my blog so here it is.

http://www.gofundme.com/6ea0z0


Even if anyone who reads my blog would rather pray for my family I want to say they're greatly appreciated. We will take anything to make our new year better. Since it started off really depressing. And I know you're thinking "well that's a part of life." and you're correct. But with a special needs child our life is 100 times more challenging. But regardless we wouldn't trade our little ones for anything. Look at this photo and tell me you would.

Ignorance is bliss

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/01/21/michigan-gop-official-herd-all-the-indians-to-detroit-build-a-fence-and-throw-in-corn/


Let me say that L Brooks Patterson's comments do not surprise me. He is known to be a bigot. He always bad mouths Detroit. Nothing is new there. However the whole herd all the Indians to Detroit and build a fence and throw in corn and blankets to make them at home like a reservation is not funny or right. First of all concentrations camps stopped with WWII. Second of all L Brooks Patterson evidently is ignorant to Native American history. Native Americans do not call themselves Indians. Indians are from India. Native Americans are from the United States. Most prefer to be called Native. I grew up with my Native heritage. My mom was proud of her roots. So hearing about stuff like this makes me angry. Native Americans have come a long way since being put on reservations. Sure suicide and alcohol play a major factor on a lot of reservations but they have had some success. 

I think L Brooks Patterson should apologize for his comments. Native Americans are not to be herded;. They're not cattle. They're human beings too!  They're American citizens like L Brooks Patterson. I'm glad that the community in Detroit is in a uproar about this. You have to be a sad individual to single out a group of people and say they should be herded into Detroit and build a fence around them. Lets hope the future generations don't have the same ignorant views as L Brooks Patterson. 

My Louisiana Diva

When my daughter Cheyenne was born I never thought she would be all about clothes. But it first started with her love for my bonnet. I had a hair bonnet from when I was a baby that I would put on Cheyenne. She had to wear it everywhere we went and it didn't matter if it was 90 degrees in Southern Louisiana she wanted to wear it. We lived in Grand Isle, a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico on a Coast Guard base. The summer was insane but she didn't care. She wanted the bonnet.

And then it was the headbands. The girl had to wear a headband with every dress. She would actually reach for her container of hand bands when I would let her pick out what she wanted to wear. This is a photo of her and I at the Destrehan Plantation in Destrehan Louisiana.

She looks young in those photos but the girl was smart and she liked to make her own choices and I encouraged it. Its funny how much of a personality she had then. It wasn't only her choice in clothes. She had to choose her food too. A personality that is still strong to this day. After the headbands came the love for hats all the way from toddler to age 4. 

I have other photos of her in hats but all of these are my favorites. Its amazing to watch her grow into such a beautiful girl. The past couple of years it has been interesting watching her clothes change. Last year she went through an 80's phase and this year its random in fact these outfits shows her personality. 

What I love most about Cheyenne is she doesn't care what people think of her just like her mama. She likes to express herself through her clothes to show people what she likes. Someday's she dresses like the outfits above and sometimes she dresses like this. 

Truth is my little Louisiana girl could care less as long as she is comfortable. The only difference is she is far more of a girly girl than I'll ever be. She is smart, talented, confident, opinionated and sticks up for those who are bullied. There is a little girl in her school named Katrina who Cheyenne has befriended and sticks up for every time Cheyennes friends say something mean. Katrina was over here last week and she's a very sweet girl. I am glad Cheyenne sees more than what her friends see. Anyway the reason for this post is because tonight Cheyenne put together an outfit she wanted me to see. She was showing off and said she couldn't wait to wear it to school tomorrow so I thought now that I'm doing this blog thing why not show off Cheyennes outfit and tell you about her and her love of fashion. This is my daughter Cheyenne Gisela. 

And a blogging I will go!

It was brought to my attention that I should start blogging. Now granted I have never thought of it even though years ago I had a livejournal. I loved livejournal.. It was a site I could post my heart out in and I hada pretty good fanbase and made a lot of wonderful friends. How they found my life interesting was beyond me but I appreciated every single one of them because they helped me through the years.

My life for the most part has been good. Growing up we lived in the hood where we dealt with drivebys, drug deals and the lovely crackheads that would be so paranoid they would yell at you because they assumed you were talking about them when you didn't even have to say a word. Imagine a six year old little girl running home because she was scared out of her mind.. That girl was me. Amelia. Daughter of a strong woman and a military man. It wasn't easy growing up in that neighborhood. But looking back it made me realize that no matter how bad it got and I mean it got bad!.. It taught me a lot. It taught me how to be aware of my surroundings. How to read a person and when a situation was going to get bad. It taught me who to trust and who not to trust. Pretty sad that I learned that at such a young age. 

But my mom and dad did everything they could to raise me and my five siblings right. We lived in the hood because the house was big enough for us all. Not because we wanted to live there. It was a place no kid should be raised rather your black or white. My mom also worked to provide for us when my dad was in another country for the Army. She would work nights and leave my little sister and I in the care of my older siblings. What great fun that was. My older sisters were a fun bunch. They would tie my little sister and I up in jump ropes and set us in front of the television and put movies on for us so they could do their thing. They were teenage girls who wanted to get on the phone with their friends and talk. Little sisters prevented that. lol

My favorite movie they made us watch one night was Tombstone. Even to this day I know that movie word from word. I own it on DVD. When Interview with the Vampire came out in 1994 my sister Debra took me to see it. I was thirteen years old. I had read the book a few years earlier. Yes that's right I read Anne Rices Interview With The Vampire when I was ten years old. I was pretty advanced in reading at the age and loved the book. So imagine my excitement when I got to see the movie. I know a lot of people gripe about Tom Cruise playing Lestat but I think he did a far better job than Stewart Townsend did in Queen of the Damned. By the way Queen of the Damned (movie) was an absolute travesty. It was nothing like the book they even got the characters wrong. But anyway I thought Tom Cruise played Letstats sense of humor perfectly. He was the brat prince. I just wish they would've made Armand younger and don't get me wrong I do love Antonio Banderas. Brad Pitt as Louis was intriguing. I think he showed us exactly what Louis was. a man of sadness but wanted to see the good in everyone. And... I was in love with Brad Pitt back then. The long hair had me at hello.. 

I think that was the only movie I saw in theater at that age. We didn't go to the movies a lot because my parents had a lot of mouths to feed. But they never complained and we were always shown love. My mom would make us hug her and say I love you every time we'd leave. My grandmother (her mom) was the same way so it was easy to see where she got it from. It was a great feeling though especially growing up in such a unpredictable environment to know that we were loved and that we knew she would always be there. Even now I'm thirty two years old and I know that if my mom were still here she would expect a hug every time she saw me. Sadly my mom passed away unexpectedly 3 years ago. She was sixty years old. One of my most favorite photo of my parents I discovered in her trunk of photos was this one. 

I had no idea that photo existed until one day my dad brought me all of the photos she kept. My mom kept everything including art work all six of us kids did in grade school. I have my baby dress and blanket that my mom kept and my Annie doll. I'll never forget the day I pulled that out of the box after she died. I broke down because when I was little that Annie doll meant so much to me. It was also one of my favorite movies. 

Now she sits on my bookshelf along with my rainbow brite and trolls. Anybody remember the trolls? With the spikey colorful hair and jewel in the belly? I loved those things back in the day and I still have mine. I still have my popples. My kids were going through a box a couple of years ago and pulled the popples out and said "what the heck is that?". I laughed and said "its a popples. You wouldn't understand even if I explained it." 

I have to say my childhood was pretty good considering the circumstances. My parents did the best they could and they were great at it. I loved going to the Armory in Detroit and sitting in my dads office typing up stories on his old typewriter and sometimes harassing the Army guys. Its pretty sad that they spent more time with my little sister and I shooting hoops in the gym of the armory or taking us on joy rides in the humvies. The military functions, the terrible mashed potatoes that stuck to the roof of your mouth and had no taste. I'll never forget the time they set me in Santa's lap and I knew who Santa was so I called him by his name instead of Santa which made my dad and some of his Army buddies run  up and say okay Amelia its someone elses turn. The same happened with the Easter bunny. I guess you could say I knew people by their eyes. The eyes are the portal to the soul.

Oh the memories! I could go on and on. But I think this blog entry has met its length. My friend said to start off with a little background about yourself. Well I went way back. So here's a current background of me. My name is Amelia. I'm a thirty two year old mom of four and married to my pain in the ass best friend. My husband Landon is the love of my life and I'll tell you our story another day. But I'm sure every woman can agree that their significant others can be a pain in the ass. I believe its in their nature. My husband likes to get me riled up and as soon as I give him what he calls the "Indian look" he will say or do something to make me laugh. Which in turn makes me forget all about being mad at him. 

I love family history and working on my parents family trees. My dads tree is based in Scandinavia and my moms is based in the Southern United States. All the information I have found makes me want to find more. Especially when I didn't grow up with my dads family. I didn't grow up with my grandfather due to his wife and his religion (Jehovah Witness). So this is my way of connecting to the family I never knew. Thanks to DNA (yes I did the DNA tests) I have found many cousins here in the states and in Finland that have been such a joy to get to know. Including the children of my great uncles. 

I am also a autism awareness advocate for my son Landon who is my nine year old special needs son who lives with Autism. Last spring I did a Walk for Autism and I enjoyed it. I try to raise awareness so people will have a better understanding of what Autism is and how to be more compassionate to those with Autism. I love my kids with all my heart and would fight for all four of them. Landon finally found his voice in late 2012-2013 and its been the greatest milestone ever. One of my favorite photos is of my oldest daughter Cheyenne and Landon. We were sitting in the parking lot waiting on my husband who was in the store. 

I love that photo. It was a rare one to catch considering little Landon hates taking photos. 

What else can I say about myself... I have an eclectic taste in music and books. I love horror movies including ones from the 80s. The cheesier the better. Tremors being one of them.. Yes I know very cheesy. I remember when I was little watching the cheesiest vampire or werewolf movies and loving them. No I didn't have any nightmares because I knew Vampires and Werewolves don't exist. Unless you believe they do which I will not knock anyone that does. 

I love to read and will pretty much read anything in fact I read all of the Encyclopedia Britanicas my parents owned and trust me when I say they had a lot. I am what you call an old soul who could careless about partying and getting drunk. My ideal of a Saturday night is cuddling with my husband watching a good movie. I know... Soooo boring. But its who I am and I have never cared what others thought. In fact in High School I was such a tomboy I actually wore mens clothing and didn't care because I was comfortable. My favorite clothes to wear back in the day was baggy jeans, a white t-shirt and big flanneled shirts. It was the most comfortable outfit to wear. In fact I still have my flanneled shirts. I bet if What Not To Wear was still on someone would sign me up for the show. lol

I have no idea what else to post. So I'm just going to say that if you have read this far kudos to you and thank you. And to end this post here is a photo of me with my beautiful family.