I am worth more than they give me credit for..

I know I haven't written a blog in quite a while. Life has been busy especially when you worked 6 days a week for a place who doesn't care what happens to you.. For them your just a employee, a slave that must do everything they say and if you stick up for yourself... You end up being nothing to them. That is how I see it. That is how its been for months. Its part of being a housekeeper right? NO!

I dealt with far more at my workplace than people realize. Members... Yeah some characters let me tell ya. My bosses... Lets just say they are angry with me but yet.. Won't tell me why. I have asked. Apologized if I had done something wrong. Yet I'm told I haven't. But they have no problem taking hours from me and giving them to the new housekeepers. I have been working for this place for two years. Two years of 6 days a week bath house duty. I gave up my kids doctors appointments, my daughters band concerts, appointments for my special needs son and my whole summers because they needed me. I worked the whole summer without asking for ONE day off and guess what. I get yelled at, treated like garbage. How dare I ask for Monday nights off for my SPECIAL NEEDS son behavior therapy appointments but yet the new housekeepers can ask for any days off with no strife. I have kept quiet. I bit my tongue and I watched them take hours from me because I asked for Mondays off. I get a threatening phone call yesterday from the same person who said their gonna take more hours from me and give them to the other housekeepers. What kind of person does that? How low of a person can you be to do that to someone who needs the money for her sons diapers. That's the only reason I work to provide for my son because we don't get help from the state. She knows my situation but yet doesn't care and threatens to take more from me. I work for people who don't know what compassion is.

Guess how many hours I have worked since last week? Less than 20. Not because of me but because they took them from me. They charged my pay check for two shirts I'll never see and every time I would ask for them I would get "I don't know where they are" or ask this person". It has been months since they were ordered. How disorganized can you be?

I get yelled at because I didn't work a wedding this past Sunday. Schedule clearly says 5pmBH/MB. Now when my other boss used to do the schedule that is what she would put to remind me I had to clean all FOUR bath houses. A FUNCTION was just the TIME. So say if I was scheduled for a function she would just put 5:00. And... A BOSS would tell their employees their working the function not leave them in the dark. So basically I got yelled at because she couldn't communicate with me and say "hey you gotta work the wedding on Sunday." I didn't get that. So I assumed I only had BH duty. Not my fault there was no communication. She has no problem yelling at me on the phone but can't tell me anything in person... Call your employees on the damn phone and tell them you did changes to the schedule and they need to work a function. Don't expect that they're supposed to know that. It doesn't work that way. So I get yelled at, Threatened and pretty much treated like I'm this terrible person who made one honest mistake by not staying for the wedding knowing there was one housekeeper there doing his job.

This just adds on to the list of negative crap thrown my way without thinking once that it might hurt my feelings. I have tried over and over again to communicate with them. Talk to them about what I have done not knowing what it is. Trying to fix it so the negativity will go away. I tried to no avail. I cared about them. When in return its clear they never cared about my feelings. Its amazing right. You give your all to a job for 2 years and in return you're shown disdain. I gave up a lot for this job. But now... I don't care anymore. Now I see I'm not wanted and that's fine. I met some great people there. Made some awesome friends. The only regret I have was showing my vulnerable side. But oh well... You live and you learn. Can't wait for Thursday!

Sure I won't have a job. Sure I will have to figure out how I'm going to get diapers for my son. But to save my dignity and sanity. To get back myself... Its time for me to walk away.

Finding my roots. Family history that is!

When I was a little girl I would question my mom all the time as to what our ethnicities were because I looked a lot like her but didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes like my brother Norman or sister Delores. Nope.. This was me when I was a baby in Detroit.

My Kindergarten picture

Here's a photo of my siblings taken back in the 70s

My mom didn't know a whole lot about her grandparents except she knew her grandmother Alzada was Native American. Let me give you a little back story. My mom was born in a small town in Tennessee. When she was 3 years old her parents Junnie and Sarah Johnson moved to Michigan for job opportunities for Junnie. They would visit Tennessee whenever they could. The stories began when my mom was little about 5 years old she would question her dads parents Arthur and Alzada Johnson. Arthur wouldn't tell her anything about his Johnson roots. He pretty much kept it all to himself. But my mom said she would never forget the day she asked her grandma Alzada if she was Indian. She said Alzada turned around and pointed her finger at her and said "do not tell anyone what I tell you. She told my mother that she was raised in North Carolina on the Cherokee reservation and that she was Cherokee, Chickasaw and Choctaw. She didn't elaborate her life on the rez but she did tell my mom she hated it and when she was old enough to leave she left. She didn't trust people and didn't want anyone to know what she was so she made my mom swear to not tell a soul. 

This is a photo of Alzada and Arthur Johnson

My mom said Alzada had some quirks. She would go in the woods and wouldn't come back for hours. She would make her own medicine and even medicine for some of the people in the town. She wasn't much of a talker especially about her past. Turns out that my grandma Alzada was a Medlin and her parents were Marion Canada Medlin and Allie Mina Dowdy both born in North Carolina.

My moms grandma Lowery on the other hand didn't mind sharing. Her name was Nora Lulu Lowery daughter of Robert Horace Lowery. She would tell my mom stories about her Lowery side and her papa as she called him. Her parents names were Robert Horace Lowery and Sarah Jane Berry. Robert Horace was the son of John Jefferson Lowery and Martha Anne Brewer. 

I have traced their lines back to the British Isle (England, Scotland, Ireland) and its amazing with the help of cousins what I have found and totally coincides with my DNA test I did on Ancestry and FTDNA. 

Nora Lulu Lowery married my great grandfather James Robert Waters on June 11 1916 in Henry County, Tennessee. 

Together they had three daughters Corrine Mae Waters, Greatta Modine Waters and my grandmother Sarah Loveane Waters. James Robert had a son with my great grandmother Alzada named John Willie. James and Alzada married and divorced before they met Nora and Arthur but yes my grandparents shared a half sibling. Funny how it works that way. 

Thanks to a lot of cousins I have traced my moms roots to Norway and Sweden with Viking ancestors that I know she had no idea about but would've loved to seen the research. Sadly my mom passed away back in 2010. At least I was able to show her the roots here in America and all the Civil War, Revolutionary War and War of 1812 ancestors that fought on American soil. She was proud of that. I am just glad I now know where my ancestors came from and its no longer a secret. All the information I have found amazes me everyday and it all started because I was curious how I could look like my mom but my siblings look so different. 

Proud to be Native

I am posting this because I think this video is great and the comments on the video are not shocking but show the Ignorance of American people today. Not all Americans but a lot of Americans are not educated on Native issues and therefore spew ignorance. It makes me sad to know that a lot of Americans don't know much about the first people of turtle island.

Let me say this. I was raised with my Native American heritage. My mom was proud of her Cherokee, Chickasaw and Choctaw roots. We would go to powwows and reservations whenever we got the chance. Not looking for meaning or truth. But to listen to people. Listen to the stories the elders wanted to share. Listen to the people on the Rez who wanted to share their stories about struggle. I knew how they felt. Not in a sense of living on a reservation but I did grow up in the ghetto. We struggled a lot. So in a way I felt I could relate to them. Duct tape on shoes, socks on the hands in cold weather, duct taping our coats. My mom and dad did their best. Just like the Natives we met did their best too. One beautiful Lakota woman sat down with me at a powwow and told me how she left the Rez and went to college to be a nurse. She didn't get free money to go. She paid for it out of her own pocket by working two jobs and going to school. No help from the tribe or government. She wanted to have a family one day and wanted to be financially secure. There are many people like her that we met through the years that have done the same to get away from the troubles of reservation life. 

My mom was a person who didn't want to hide her Native roots like her grandmother did. Her grandmother told her never to tell anyone she was Native American. "When they ask you're white." Although clearly my great grandmother looked Native. Here is a photo of her with my great grandfather Arthur Johnson.

It was from growing up on the reservation that she hated her heritage so much. My mom would tell me stories that she would get angry if my mom questioned her. She would tell my mom that whatever she told her was between them. No one was to know. In a way I understand where my great grandmother didn't want anyone to know what she was but in another way it makes me sad that she felt she had to hide her identity. She could've passed down her culture, the languages she knew, how she made medicines for pain etc. My mom said "this little woman had remedies for headaches and toothaches. She would even have a remedy for colds. But she refused to show her grandchildren anything because she didn't want them to be like her. She wanted better for them is what my mom said. 

I would've loved to have heard the stories, learned the remedies and languages of my ancestors but sometimes things happen in life that can change a person and I think growing up on the reservation changed her. My mom would tell us how much she hated alcohol and if my great grandfather came home drunk she would chase him through the woods with a broom yelling at him. She hated cars. Said they were evil. The more stories I heard of her the more I wish I had met her. 

The other day my friend Glenn posted a link to this video. When I watched it I absolutely loved it. Of course there was a comment that said:

 " These real Americans you just named were wiped out by various colonists from everywhere around the world a looong time ago, and so today we got modern "America" that we built in blood. So I can just laugh to this lol, I am not American, but it is a known fact most of old Europe made todays "America"

Shows the ignorance that doesn't surprise me. First of all most of the tribes named in the video still exist today. Of course that person also says he isn't American. So it really shows that before you speak such ignorance do the research. Its not that hard people. 

The point of the video is to show people that we need to change the Redskins mascot. For those who don't know the name "Redskin" is a derogatory term used towards Native Americans for hundreds of years. Or if you want to get technical some believe the name Redskin came from scalping and skinning of slaughtered Native Americans. Whatever you believe. I think the Native American community has a right to express their voice in the matter. Just like the NAACP did the the N word. Its America. Freedom of speech right? Well to a lot of the comments on the video apparently not. 

And... That's what irks me the most. People will express their opinions but when you disagree with them.. Your rights to Freedom of Speech are revoked in their close minded minds. You cannot think this way, argue with them and you can't think or speak for yourself. You think by now people would grow up.. Hello! We're adults here. Lets agree to disagree and leave it at that show we? So here is the video that I was speaking of. In my honest opinion it made me smile. Its very powerful and rather you like or dislike it. At least you will see why these tribes want their voices heard. 

Well... Its official...

As of 7am this morning we don't have a vehicle.  My husband was driving to work when the camaro broke down on 12 mile road. A very busy road near his job, He got it to start and drove it into the parking lot when it broke down again. One of the security guards gave him a ride to his office building. I called him to find out if he made it to work okay and that was when he told me. So we're now officially screwed. No car for my husband to drive and I hope our kids don't get hurt or sick because we have no way of getting them to the hospital in time. The camaro was having problems overheating. My husband, dad and brother fixed the thermostat yesterday and then Landon took it in to get the radiator flushed. Money that we didn't actually have was spent yesterday on that and what a waste.

I know this is a part of life and a part of life I wouldn't want wished on anyone. I feel as though no matter how hard I have worked or my husband has worked we cannot catch a break. Just when we think we are finally caught up something else happens. First it was our washer, then the dryer, then the van and now the camaro. We're in a bind. We can't pay our rent until the 10th because we had to pay our $600 gas bill. Why is it that high? We live in a 2 story drafty house that is 119 years old and this month with the temperatures in the negatives it has really caught up.

I always try to stay positive. Even with all the bumpy roads of being a special needs parent. I have always looked at my sons special needs in a positive outlook. Maybe that's my downfall. Maybe being positive is the reason nothing goes right in my family. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and say forget it. Someday's I wish I could. But my kids are far too important and thankfully our problems don't effect them. I want them to be kids. Not worry about mom and dad. I grew up in poverty and I always told myself that my kids never would know what its like to worry about no water in the house for months at a time or other problems that my parents worked hard at trying to fix. Raising 6 kids was hard and my mom and dad both worked. When my siblings were old enough they worked too. The only difference is back in the day was so much cheaper to live compared to now. Now everything is going up and with a family of six its hard to keep up. I wish the van didn't break down. I wish the camaro didn't break down. I hope to God that our landlord will be understanding when we tell him we can't pay him until the 10th. If not well.. I guess we will be looking for a house too. Like we can afford to do that. We can't afford to do anything. We're sitting ducks in a tiny pond and I don't know how we're going to get out of it.

Thank you to everyone who has donated to our gofundme page. We're truly thankful for your kindness.

Life and its hard times..

Just recently my husband and I have hit a rut. Before the New Year he ended up in the hospital with blood pressure 200/125 and pressure in the chest. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong because his cholesterol was fine and the tests showed nothing wrong. Our special needs son Landon was stressed out and not acting like himself while daddy was in the hospital. He didn't understand what was going on. Finally when Landon came home he was told to take it easy and he took his vacation time from work. My husband works for a contract company for GM. Not a Union job. Thankfully he was due vacation time and spent it resting and healing. In January I was laid off from my job at the marina I am a housekeeper at. There wasn't much work for me to do and $8 an hour working 2 days a week in 3 hour shifts wouldn't even pay for gas. My busiest time at work is the summer time cleaning up after members who take advantage of your kindness everyday and treat you as though you're the dirt on their shoe. Its not an easy job and putting up with people who think they're above you because you're a housekeeper and your not rich is not a job everyone can do. I gotta say working there has made me seen the side of people I never thought I would see. Its pretty sad when you think about it.

Unfortunately life has handed us another challenge. One we cannot fix unless a miracle happens. The day after Christmas our family vehicle died. It went kaput and when my brother tried to start it air was coming out of the engine. But before that we were having problems with it. It would shake violently when we would stop at a red light. The van was our only transportation for doctors appointments for the kids. Family drives in the country was our favorite thing to do. But after Dec 26 2013 that all ended. Our special needs son requires MRI's, EEG's and other tests that we had to put on hold because of the blasted van. Here is a photo of it and you can tell in this photo of my daughter Cheyenne  it hasn't moved with the mound of snow in front of it.

We don't even have the money for our rent and had to pay to keep our electricity and our gas bill because of the negative temperatures here in Michigan is $600. So we're scrapping at the moment with a "95" Camaro that over heated on us last night. So needless to say 2014 has started off for us in a hard time. Usually my husband and I try to stay positive and keep on trucking as my mom would say. We just live as best as we can and try to find good in all of it especially for our kids. Our twin boys gave us a dollar they earned to put towards fixing the camaro. My cousin Leanne said Your Facebook post about your kids wanting to contribute was so sweet! You’re obviously a good parent to instill this caring and generosity in your children.

We try to teach them everyday that helping others is a good thing. It shows people that you care and shows that there is hope in this world when people are shown kindness. They put together a box of toys they didn't play with and sent them to goodwill last year and this year they're sending a box of toys to a shelter not to far from our house for kids to enjoy. My little ones love giving back to the community. We're raising them to be there for others when they need help. Its how I was raised. My parents instilled it in me and I am instilling it in my children. We try to be humble and don't like to ask for help. But my friend Megan insisted we make an account on gofundme.com to help us raise money for a van. Nothing fancy or expensive just something to get our family back into routine and back to all the appointments we have missed. It was her idea that I post the link to my blog so here it is.

http://www.gofundme.com/6ea0z0


Even if anyone who reads my blog would rather pray for my family I want to say they're greatly appreciated. We will take anything to make our new year better. Since it started off really depressing. And I know you're thinking "well that's a part of life." and you're correct. But with a special needs child our life is 100 times more challenging. But regardless we wouldn't trade our little ones for anything. Look at this photo and tell me you would.

Ignorance is bliss

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/01/21/michigan-gop-official-herd-all-the-indians-to-detroit-build-a-fence-and-throw-in-corn/


Let me say that L Brooks Patterson's comments do not surprise me. He is known to be a bigot. He always bad mouths Detroit. Nothing is new there. However the whole herd all the Indians to Detroit and build a fence and throw in corn and blankets to make them at home like a reservation is not funny or right. First of all concentrations camps stopped with WWII. Second of all L Brooks Patterson evidently is ignorant to Native American history. Native Americans do not call themselves Indians. Indians are from India. Native Americans are from the United States. Most prefer to be called Native. I grew up with my Native heritage. My mom was proud of her roots. So hearing about stuff like this makes me angry. Native Americans have come a long way since being put on reservations. Sure suicide and alcohol play a major factor on a lot of reservations but they have had some success. 

I think L Brooks Patterson should apologize for his comments. Native Americans are not to be herded;. They're not cattle. They're human beings too!  They're American citizens like L Brooks Patterson. I'm glad that the community in Detroit is in a uproar about this. You have to be a sad individual to single out a group of people and say they should be herded into Detroit and build a fence around them. Lets hope the future generations don't have the same ignorant views as L Brooks Patterson. 

My Louisiana Diva

When my daughter Cheyenne was born I never thought she would be all about clothes. But it first started with her love for my bonnet. I had a hair bonnet from when I was a baby that I would put on Cheyenne. She had to wear it everywhere we went and it didn't matter if it was 90 degrees in Southern Louisiana she wanted to wear it. We lived in Grand Isle, a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico on a Coast Guard base. The summer was insane but she didn't care. She wanted the bonnet.

And then it was the headbands. The girl had to wear a headband with every dress. She would actually reach for her container of hand bands when I would let her pick out what she wanted to wear. This is a photo of her and I at the Destrehan Plantation in Destrehan Louisiana.

She looks young in those photos but the girl was smart and she liked to make her own choices and I encouraged it. Its funny how much of a personality she had then. It wasn't only her choice in clothes. She had to choose her food too. A personality that is still strong to this day. After the headbands came the love for hats all the way from toddler to age 4. 

I have other photos of her in hats but all of these are my favorites. Its amazing to watch her grow into such a beautiful girl. The past couple of years it has been interesting watching her clothes change. Last year she went through an 80's phase and this year its random in fact these outfits shows her personality. 

What I love most about Cheyenne is she doesn't care what people think of her just like her mama. She likes to express herself through her clothes to show people what she likes. Someday's she dresses like the outfits above and sometimes she dresses like this. 

Truth is my little Louisiana girl could care less as long as she is comfortable. The only difference is she is far more of a girly girl than I'll ever be. She is smart, talented, confident, opinionated and sticks up for those who are bullied. There is a little girl in her school named Katrina who Cheyenne has befriended and sticks up for every time Cheyennes friends say something mean. Katrina was over here last week and she's a very sweet girl. I am glad Cheyenne sees more than what her friends see. Anyway the reason for this post is because tonight Cheyenne put together an outfit she wanted me to see. She was showing off and said she couldn't wait to wear it to school tomorrow so I thought now that I'm doing this blog thing why not show off Cheyennes outfit and tell you about her and her love of fashion. This is my daughter Cheyenne Gisela.